Columbus OH

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Bobbi's mother went from time to eternity about 10 am yesterday (the 21st).

Despite the inexorable slowness of mother's deterioration essentially all the time since we returned from Florida, when the call finally came, it still somehow seemed a surprise to Bobbi. She broke down completely, uttering screams that could be heard throughout the neighborhood, weeping fountains of tears. Lew sat with her and tried to comfort her with touch. As soon as she paused for breath, Lew got her to take an anxiolytic which took effect in less than a half hour. Still, she was completely devastated.

Of course she insisted on going to Jackson immediately. However, she was so disturbed it seemed unlikely that it would be possible for her to arrive there alive. Fortunately, Paul also had come back the preceding night to pick up some things. Lew contacted him on his cell phone, and he agreed to drive the pair of them to Jackson as soon as he could get over to the house.

Despite the closeness with which Paul had attended g'ma during the preceding two months, he appeared calm and in control -- so Lew felt comfortable with the two of them making the trip. Lew of course had to stay behind to care for the animals. (Everyone would have preferred to had taken the animals with us in the van, but unfortunately the van had been in the shop the entire preceding week, with it's return not in sight.)

Bobbi phoned Lew in the evening. It was obvious that, despite a substantial dose of anxiolytic, she was still extremely disturbed. Nevertheless, she carried on a coherent conversation, asking Lew to notify several people by phone. This included Scott, who would be doing the service along with Bobbi. Scott had been making arrangements to come visit g'ma before she died, so had arranged to arrive in Columbus on Tuesday afternoon. Of course at that point, no funeral plans had been made.

The next day (the 22nd) Bobbi phoned again with an update and a schedule: funeral on Thursday (the 26th -- mother's 80th birthday), viewings on Wednesday at the funeral home and Thursday morning at the church, before the service. After an 11 am service, mother was to be taken to Pomeroy where she was to be buried next to her husband in old Beechgrove Cemetery on the hill above the town. Bobbi gave Lew a list of people to phone in order to inform them of this schedule, and he complied. Later in the evening Bobbi phoned Lew again at about bedtime, sounding somewhat more composed, perhaps because she had spent three hours planning the service.

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In the interim between the last post on the 6th and yesterday, time flew by in a hectic blur of activity as Bobbi tried to be in two places at once: in Jackson with her mother, and in Columbus doing all her usual activities -- mass on Saturday afternoon (with festival in the evening of the 7th), FHC on Sundays and Mondays, taking the van to the shop Monday evening, purchasing groceries on Wednesday or Thursday, and superintending the AC service check and carpet cleaning on Friday (the 19th).  Paul and Lew attempted to make the impossible possible for Bobbi -- Paul remained in Jackson almost the entire time nursing g'ma, while in Columbus Lew dogsat, went to the bank, took pets to the vet, put away clean dishes and laundry, and cleaned when Bobbi was absent in Jackson, then attended two clinics on Wednesday (the 18th -- SVFC) and Friday (Dayton).   

So when the call came on Saturday, it was an exhausted and all the more vulnerable Bobbi who picked up the phone.