Columbus OH

Epilog

Bobbi's mother now lies beside Bobbi's father where he was interred 43 years ago, at the top of the hill which is Beechmont Cemetery, above the impoverished little river town of Pomeroy.

The days between the last post and this were hectic, of course.  Sunday (the 22nd) Lew devoted mainly to phoning a variety of relatives and friends to inform them, while the family in Jackson planned out the funeral -- to be carried out on Thursday.  Monday Lew made arrangements to board the dogs, and Bobbi returned to Columbus late in the evening.  

Tuesday (the 24th) Lew scanned photos of Audrey and emailed them to Pete, who was to use them in creating a collage and a video.  In the afternoon Bobbi and Lew shopped for needed supplies, and picked up their formal shoes from the van which still sat at the shop.  Paul picked up Scott at the airport, brought him home, and after supper Scott showed the many photos his family had taken on their recent trip to the Virgin Islands.

Wednesday (the 25th) we all went to Jackson to participate in the afternoon and evening viewings at the funeral home.  Both were well-attended, including some of Jackson's most influential citizens.  The affection the town had for it's longtime resident, newspaper columnist, and church articipant was very obvious.  But the entire family was quite whipped when they got home afterwards and fell into bed.

Thursday morning (the 26th) was to have been g'ma's 80th birthday.  The schedule planned for the day meant that everyone was rousted out of bed early.   The pallbearers assembled early at Audrey's Methodist church (the upscale church for the community leaders) and conveyed the coffin into the sanctuary, where she again lay for viewing from 9-10 am.

This was when the accumulated stress started to get to everyone.  During much of the viewing, Paul closeted himself in one of the bathrooms -- an expected happening because he suffers from irritable bowel syndrome, and his attacks are triggered by stress.  But when he emerged, it was obvious that he not only was distressed and weeping, but also quite drunk.  Lew added to the intoxication by giving him an additional anxiolytic, in hopes that it either would allow him to regain control, or else knock him out.  Unfortunately this was futile.

At 10 am the service proceeded, an amalgam of g'ma's previously stated wishes, the wishes of the two preachers, and the wishes of g'ma's other two children.  It was extremely emotional -- Bobbi gave one of her triumphalist sermons with tears in her eyes, while Scott was a bit more controlled.  The service ended as g'ma had requested:  the "Battle Hymn of the Republic" with all the stops out on the organ.

At noon, after the service, the ladies of the church served a luncheon for all of the participants.  As is the style there, it was not heart-healthy.  Nevertheless, one could gather enough vegetarian, low-fat items to make a satisfactory meal that also was healthy.

After the luncheon it was time for the participants to shift over to Pomeroy, about an hour's drive away.  Paul and g'ma's friend Sandy promised to coordinate with us and caravan over -- but they disappeared.  We waited and waited, then finally left on our own.  The road to Pomeroy is narrow and winding, so one doesn't make much speed.  But in addition, Lew got lost, and Bobbi had no idea where we were.  After about 15 minutes someone got us turned around in the right direction, and we arrived almost 45 minutes late.  We learned that contrary to stated plans, everyone else had gone on ahead.

The graveside service was brief, and everyone prepared to depart.  But Paul could not tear himself away until the coffin had been lowered into the grave.  Finally he and Sandy also left.

The ride back was anticlimactic, and the family all gathered at g'ma's house to eat leftovers.  Then exhausted, all fell into bed and slept with varying degrees of success (Bobbi in particular slept fitfully).

Bobbi and Paul remained in Jackson on Friday, while Lew took Scott back to Columbus and to the airport for his scheduled flight home to Tampa.  While Scott got to the terminal with time to spare, Lew was not back at the car before Scott phoned to say his flight was cancelled, and would Lew please come back and pick him up.  They slept another night, but had to wake up early Saturday morning to get Scott to the terminal on time for his early flight to Charlotte, NC -- however, they succeeded.

Lew returned home, and after lunch dressed for mass.  Paul and Bobbi were late returning to Columbus, so Lew had to go to mass by himself and Bobbi met him there.  Afterwards they talked extensively with the priest, then went home for supper and Prairie Home Companion.  

Paul, on the other hand, did not return home that evening.  Bobbi chose to go to Frazier Health Center the next afternoon, as a distraction and relief from the tragic and stressful events of the week.  But after she returned home, Paul did not make an appearance until 10 pm, and he was stoned out of his mind -- red eyed, paranoid, and hostile.  He admitted that this time his drug of choice had been pot -- which he always justifies as the only thing he ever has found that successfully quieted his irritable bowel.  But he did promise to accompany Bobbi back to Jackson the next day (that is, today, Monday the 30th).

Today Bobbi had to be up early to start the day with an accupunture session.  She went from there to Sam's Club, returned home to unload, then went to Kroger.  Bobbi had another episode of profound weeping and complained of the pain.  Paul did appear as promised, and to Bobbi's and Lew's great relief appeared to be stone cold sober -- and back to the amiable Paul.  They packed the mini-van, and left about 6 pm; Bobbi confirmed their safe arrival by phone about 8 pm.

Very hectic, and very sad.